Frozen In Time

Assalamualaikum. No, that isn't my suitcase, although I would love for it to be.

I'm going back to university in two days.

Two. Days.

No matter how many times I spew those words out of my mouth, I still won't believe it. Or can't, if you may. Everything is ready; the documents, the stuff I'll be bringing to my soon-to-be apartment, everything.

Everything but one, and that is myself.

It's ironic isn't it? I can't bring myself to be ready. Ready for the lack of sleep, the heavy subjects, the strict lecturers (or so I am told), the days without tv, entertainment and my family and not to mention home-cooked food. Dang. I'm gonna miss mama's cooking so badly. It's Ramadhan, and I won't get to enjoy and savour mama's delicacies for more than a week. For sahur, it's going to be me, slices of bread and instant noodles. *sobs*

Yeah, I'm a wimp right? It's not like I wouldn't be going back home during the weekends. I need to snap out of it and be a tough cookie. I have to do it for the sake of myself. For the sake of my future.

Let's cut to the chase of this post, because I've realized that I'm being overdramatic about this whole thing. It's not like I haven't gone through this before. I've been a university student since last year, so this should be easy.

Right?

I don't know anymore. But what I do know is that by Thursday, all of my thoughts have to be focused on one thing, and that is my future. I'm studying to become a doctor, and that's final. All of the hard work that I have to do will all be worth it in the end, when I stand on the stage to receive my degree. The struggles in between are just something I have to go through in life. And no matter, because I know that I won't have to face them alone. It's a comforting thought, I just have to keep the positive energy inside me alive and burning. If I believe in myself, I can do it. Because if I don't then no one else will.

Nevertheless, I will definitely miss the presence of my family. I've been having a laugh just chilling and talking with my mom. I'll miss her the most. My dear mother, I feel sorry for her. She calls me her ultimate assistant, because apart from her, I do the chores around the house. But because I'll be going away, she'll be doing the chores instead of me, and it's saddening to think so. Besides, my sisters are freaking hopeless, although one of them is old enough to help my mom with those things. Sigh. I hope my mom won't be so merciful because she needs to tell my sister to help around while I'm gone. My mother isn't the type to complain, so yeah. I'm also gonna miss Tumblr-ing all day without a care in the world, tweeting for hours in a day and chatting with Shazana. Geez, I will miss it so much. I won't get to talk to her as often when I'll be going soon and I hate that. It's bad enough that I haven't seen her in ages, but InsyaAllah, that'll change come Eid. Seeing her during the festive week IS A MUST.

I'll be seeing you soon, Cyberjaya. It would be a lie to say that I'm not excited, because damn well I am.

The London Olympics 2012 is finally here! I'm counting down the days when the closing ceremony will be held, because rumour has it that Ed Sheeran and One Direction are gonna be performing! Please spare me a moment to faint, thank you. IJUSTHOPETHEREWILLBETVINMYAPARTMENT. Please, dear God.


xoxo,
Zafirah.