To The Sea

Sometimes I tell myself that I shouldn't let others change who I am, even though it'll lead to me getting hurt and whatnot. You should always be selfless, they say. It's the right thing to do, they say.

Don't I at least deserve a bit of credit, after all that I've been through?

I'm not gonna point out names, but I try every day to help people as much as I can. It's either people aren't used to doing the same, or they just don't give a damn. And it hurts. God dammit, it hurts so badly. I don't know why I can't change. I don't know why I keep pulling myself back to where I started. I don't know why I can't NOT CARE.

I'm only hurting myself, and I don't know what to do.

This isn't a pity party I'm throwing myself. I just want people to notice. To care, for once. Just once, I want to feel appreciated, loved, respected. The ones that I'm close to aren't around me anymore, and I'm stuck in a world where I don't have a shoulder to cry on. Someone who laughs at the same jokes, share the same fashion sense, cry with me through sad movies. I don't have that anymore.

I don't know if I can live knowing that I'm all alone here.

Do you know how it's like to feel lonely despite being surrounded by a sea of people?

xoxo,
Zafirah.