Turning Point

Unique to man, alone in the animal world
the freedom to choose, to make your own path
to set priorities, to chart what is important
where your time is, there is your heart
where your treasure lies, what holds claim
consciously chosen, or by default
what energizes you,
motivates, gives you purpose
centers and grounds
choosing your course

Freedom to Choose - Raymond A. Foss

I woke up today, and whispered to myself, "This is it." The moment of truth. Without bothering to look at the mirror to tidy my hair (seriously, it looked like a bushy animal tail), I turned on my laptop and waited patiently for it to load. My laptop is still brand new, so there's not much memory used and it doesn't take so long to load. But today, it felt like it took forever. Anyway, I logged in on pretty much every social networking site that I registered. Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, etc. Well, except for Myspace. I mean, nobody goes there anymore. It's pretty much a dead website just waiting to be pulled down to its grave.

Moving on, as a social networking freak that I am, I updated my statuses on Facebook and Twitter every minute. Okay, maybe just in Twitter, because if I update every minute on Facebook everybody will think that I abused the status button because I'm either stupid or just lost. I looked at the clock and it was only 11.30, and the result comes out on 12 pm. Everybody complained that this is just another way for the Education Ministry to torture us by giving out the result at noon. Well, not everybody. Okay fine, it was just me who complained -.- I didn't ask anyone else about this but I'm pretty sure they were ridiculously nervous and hanging on to their socks.

11.31. I spent 29 minutes all curled up in my head, picturing the future and playing the 'What If' game. What if I'm not accepted to any universities? What if I have to be far from home? What if I'll fail miserably in the matriculation college because I had no choice but to go there? That was when my heart came and pulled me back to reality. My heart told me not to worry too much. And that playing the game is useless. No one can win, because we can never know what's ahead of us. Allah is fair, and He will bless me with the best decision. What I needed to do was just finding out my result and move on. And thank Allah for what He's given me. That 29 minutes went poof and my eyes stared at the screen. 12 pm was what the clock told me. I refreshed the UPU website and there it was. UPU result, click HERE. And I did.

But I was stuck there for 5 minutes.

I'm only human, so I started yammering to myself, and posting Twitter updates like, "Kenapa tiba2 connection jd BANGANG??! Just when something important happens, tergedik2 plk nk rosak -.-" but then I thought to myself that I was being paranoid and annoying and I should be logical about this. Thousands of students across Malaysia were checking the website at the same time. That's why a lot of people were still stuck in the same spot. Hoping and praying to Allah for the best result was the only thing I could do. And then, a miracle happened. I quickly typed in my IC number and waited for the end product. It read, with huge letters,

TAHNIAH!

Anda telah berjaya ditawarkan program pengajian seperti berikut :

E0001 - ASASI SAINS

UNIVERSITI TEKNOLOGI MARA (UiTM)

I postponed my bathing schedule for this. I was busy staring at the laptop with my unkempt hair and oily complexion, still in my pajamas, my bed undone and my breath reeking. At first, i thought to myself "UiTM? But I wanted UM....". I know, how ungrateful was I? After a few seconds, I realized that it didn't matter, I got in anyway. I did it! I thanked Allah, alhamdulillah. I was surprisingly calm and relaxed, but I jumped out of bed to tell my mum the wonderful news. She asked me "Is the website still jammed?". Then I replied "No, mum. I got into UiTM.", and she was like "Really? That's great, alhamdulillah!". I ran back upstairs and Tweeted the overwhelmingly happy news. A few people congratulated me, and I returned their kind words. Some were still nervous, not knowing their results yet. But I assured them to be calm and accept whatever is given to them. Even though I didn't accept mine at first. Hypocrite -.-

I quickly called Shazana, and told her everything. She has not known her result yet, because she just finished her driving test (and she passed, thank God). I told her to call me right after she knew her result, at the same time my mum came up to me and kissed my head. "Congratulations, sayang." I just knew that she was proud of me then. Shazana called and told me she got into UiTM too. I was ecstatic, we could be roommates! I never thought we could still be together, and Allah, I thank you again.

The UPU result was all because of effort and hard work. Not just by yours truly, but by everyone that has helped me through the tough times. My exceptionally kind-hearted teachers, my remarkably crazy but helpful friends and my extremely supportive and amazing family. I thank you with all my heart, but first and foremost, I thank Allah. This is just the beginning of my journey towards adulthood and a successful career. Allah, may you always provide me with protection and the strength to carry on this odyssey. College life, here I come!

Though I'm intensely content at the moment, I'm very, very afraid of college life. Very afraid.