Dissolution

i long for a place where i can be alone and enjoy the calm scenery and forget all of my problems. and please, god, let there be a place like the one i'm depicting in my head. because somehow, and not surprisingly, i'm skeptical about whether this place really exists or not. you can look into my eyes and see nothing but peaceful sentiments, yet my heart is bleeding inside, the wounds singed beyond repair. my eyes are what's holding me back. they act as shields, so that the outside world cannot clearly see the person behind these carefully cafted eyes created by God himself. and i'm saying this from the bottom of my heart that it's very, very hard to see things change in your life. and these amendments, they're not anything normal. it's the things in life that you need the most, but instantly vanishes. the things that you are familiar with, gone, disappeared, departed, missing. and you realize that you will never be able to relish, to savor those familiarities anymore.

you find out that there are other people in your BFF's life and you wish you could've been there with her too.

your schedule is making you nuts and you miss the times when you can sleep your brain off.

you thought of the people that left you behind and why they never bother to drop a line anymore.

you want to be able to feel and live your life without the burdening amounts of pressure exerting towards you.

i miss this.
i wish i'm in this world.
i'm falling apart, crumbling down the earth.
hope, stay with me.
faith, be there for me.