I Don't Know This Anymore

i don't know what the world has become right now. i don't know why a lot of things around me seems unfamiliar. i don't know why changes happen. i don't know what i want now. i don't know why people act like they do these days. i just don't know. i'm trapped with the possibility of going mental and i have no idea how to get out. darkness and despair. that has become the theme of my life in the past weeks since i've adapted to school life again. everything seems wrong. and the strange thing is that it's wrong to me but not to others. day by day, i will always feel sad. it's like there's a part of my heart that has been taken out. my eyes are not lively; they are dull and pale. it's like i'm not there. i live, but there's no life inside of me. i'm sorry i lied to you. yes, you're right. i wasn't tired. in fact, i was indeed very, very sad. i felt an immense pain in my soul. but i don't know what made me feel this way. i don't know if i can figure it out, and i'm not sure if i want to. i don't want to give up in life, dear god, i don't. but right now, hope is trapped somewhere in the dark. sunshine no longer brightens me. happiness no longer exists in me. i am now a lonely piece of junk who used to be happy and human.