Well, Life Certainly Goes On.

i realise i haven't post any blog for the past few days. it's only bcos i was sad. sadness could lead you to not being able to handle your computer. my hands tremble a lot and i couldn't risk the laptop falling bcos i couldn't hold it properly. haahhhha. crap.

fatin. this post is dedicated to her. bcos she's leaving. and this might be the last post that i could mention her name, cos i won't be hearing from her again very soon. MRSM pengkalan chepa is waaaaay far from her taste. but, she went anyway cos she wants a good future in her hands.

i knew this would happen. i knew i would have to cope with this. without fatin, the seat beside me in class is empty. i couldn't ask for her help about something written on the blackboard ; nearsighted, that's me. i suffer, but i knew if she didn't go, she would suffer a loss. loss of hope or better future. it's better for me to let me suffer than her, my friend. my dear friend. of course, you would think "what kind of stupid suffer do you have to cope?" yeah, nearsighted, pffft. stupid right? well i suffer, and it's also bcos i lost a part of my heart that is usually there for me, and share my happiness together. (i know, jiwang nak mampos)

that last day at school for her, yesterday. at first, i felt there was no need to cry, be strong for just a few hours. the day before, i told ppl there's gonna be a lot of crying from me. but i didn't really mean it. i thought i could handle it. and, i did. but after watching Nana crying on the floor, i decided to soothe her. but i, in turn, burst in to tears. omg. Nana, you so owe me. hahahah. the tears aren't only meant for sadness to see her go;i'm happy for her too. if she doesn't become a doctor one day bcos she rejected mrsm, i blame myself, okay? i want her to succeed too.

that day, i saw another side of the boys of 4 beta. the softer, kinder side. we said our sorries, and forgave each other. inside of me, even though i don't really get along with em, i really hope we would see each other. see them all succeed without even trying, and sharing many stories that could make me laugh a lot till i'm teary-eyed. after crying for an hour maybe, the tears stopped automatically. i realised there's nothing to be sad about now. life goes on, and so should i.

fatin, good luck out there. i'll always remember you, the beauuuuuutiful girl who used to sit beside me. the chair lays empty, but your soul is still on it, i'm sure. take care dear. love you. and also, to my friends who made the cut to mrsm and sbp, goodbye and good luck. hope we'll see each other again. take care. so long.