All Hail New Beginnings

Hello blog.

Forgive me because I left you here to produce dust. You're living in the Web, after all.

That was a terrible joke. Just terrible. I have lost my mojo, people. Spare me some cruelty, please :B

Maybe it's because Semester 2 of my Foundation in Science stint in UiTM Puncak Alam has just started. And I'm still in my 'holiday mode'. After I've gotten used to my disappointing yet relieving Semester 1 result, I was very grateful to Allah that He actually spared this pitiful slave of His the humililation of not being called back to Puncak Alam to continue another semester. Although I came back with a new hope, talking about my result just left me embarrassed and humbled. As soon as my footsteps were heard in Puncak Alam, I vomited words of motivation. Quotes that could somehow, stimulate the small and insignificant amount of determination I still had within me. I wanted to prepare for the worst of the worst.

And so far, I have done an acceptable amount of work, if I do say so myself. Because considering the standards of my work, this was probably an excellent achievement.

I hope it'll continue right until the final exam is finished, though I know that I can't really count on myself for that. I am still in doubt, at myself. It's a sad thing to say, when I'm the only one who should know who I really am. And I have to push myself further.

If the words I say don't really mean anything, it's because they don't.

Words are just words. Someone should punish me for saying things I know I should I do but is left undone. I want to do them of course, but the stubborn demon in me just won't budge. There is something you should know about Zafirah : when I get stressed out, I'll be thinking about how much work there is to be done. But instead of doing them, I'll find something to distract me until I'll end up having to do the delayed work with as little care as possible. Which means a lot of bad quality assignments from yours truly.

Yes. Get away from me as fast as you can, sweetheart. I'm a bad influence. Although you should know, that delaying the work you have to do is bad. I promise I'm a good person most of the time (lol). Just don't ever think of doing what I'm doing and you'll be fine. I just described myself like I'm some kind of an ex-convict drug dealer who just got out of jail. Heh. I can change, if only I'm willing to beat myself up for it. No more distractions. Please, distractions. Don't lure me into your trap of unimportant activities and self-destruction.

I know that my recent posts make you gag with boredom. I also know that no one reads any of them, so screw you. I'm not here to please anyone. *I do think my blog is so BLAH. Oh well.

Cheers to my classmates who achieved a 4.0 GPA last semester. You did well, MashaAllah. Hopefully, you guys will have a bright future ahead. InsyaAllah, I'll follow in your footsteps toward achieving my dreams as well.

Hope, don't fail me.