Gratification

My hands were, needless to say, shaking incessantly.
And my feet weren't even on school grounds yet.

As my ear is glued to my cell phone, searching far and wide for that one particularly familiar face, butterflies were engaged in a war inside my stomach, struggling to get out. And when I found her, waving at me and smiling that perfect smile of hers, the butterflies stopped skirmishing for awhile. The combat wasn't over. But it was postponed, because happiness smacked my face and they didn't like that.

Shazana and I talked and talked, soon more recognizable faces appear and the smiles on our faces seemed to go on forever. There we were, at school. The place we used to go in the past 5 years. The place where we learned, made friends and gained experiences. The place which we'll profoundly miss when we go our separate ways soon.

SPM. The battle of the year. The battle we hoped, we would triumph in.

"Guys, didn't you hear? The results are here!"

The smiles on our faces, the ones we expected to be perpetual, started to demote. Our eyes scanned each other, the tense expressions on our faces clearly visible. It was time to face the enemy. And we would fight till our last breath. The other former students gathered in the hall, the room filled with hushed whispers and longing hugs. We took our places, and the teacher's voice was heard unmistakably by all of us.

"10 students have successfully got straight A's for SPM...."

Hushed tones were heard from the former students. 10 people wasn't what we had hoped for. What if we weren't one of the top ten? What if I wasn't in the top ten? But I knew.

As the top ten students were revealed, I knew what I had to do. I would walk out with pride. I had fought fearlessly through this battle. And in the end, I won triumphantly. I am victorious, straight A's or not. And I won't let my straight A's friends get in the way of my attempt to fulfill my lifelong dream. It was a humbling and appreciative process, as I found out about my SPM result. I knew. I knew then, that I gave it my all.

Allah the Almighty, I thank you with all my heart. You have blessed me with the most wonderful things in life, and this result is an addition to that. I'm certainly honored to have incredible friends, a supportive family and an amazing group of teachers who have stayed with me during this overwhelming journey. Thank you, Alhamdulillah.