Effortless Nightmare

I can't believe it's already February. And soon March will come our way. Don't say there's another 3 weeks to go. March will just pass right by before you know it. And you'll think "It doesn't feel like 3 weeks." Because time doesn't give anybody a chance. And this is a really bad thing to say because I'm not even employed and I think that the time flies so promptly! I admit, life's been going steady and slow, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm still enjoying and basking the new year, and it's already the second month in.

What if, in the blink of an eye, the world spins out of control and I stand in front of the college gates, ready for my college life? College is not until September. And I can't even remember what happened in the middle of the year. It's like, the days just fly by and the memories are kept like way, way inside my mind and they're beyond reach. And what if my SPM result is ghastly?! I already planned everything I wanna do. I wanna pursue a career in medicine, and that's the only thing I think I'm capable of doing. I'm not the most creative person in the world, I hate studying about economics, I stutter in front of the camera and just UGH I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ELSE! I love Biology, it's my life. It's something I KNOW. It's something I breathe. It's my passion, my dream. I know this sounds cheesy but there's bound to be someone out there who feels the same way I do. Like, there's this one thing that you're good at and it's the ONLY thing you don't suck at and you feel like you can't do anything else to support yourself other than that.

And what if I succumb to college pressure?! I really can't handle pressure properly. And I don't have my friends with me, since all of us are heading to different career paths. And what if all the seniors keep messing with us juniors' asses and stuff? They like to do this thing called 'ragging' or something where they humiliate and like, prank all of the juniors and making them do outlandish things. It's insane. Yes, this is a post about me worrying about my life. So yeah I'm not usually THIS dramatic. But I do have my moments. And I'm just anxious on what might happen to me. I don't want my life to twist out of control.